So far, Jim has been doing all of the updates-with my input-but I decided I'd try to put some in as well. His writing is much more humorous and concise, but for those who like more detail, I'll try and fill in.
Our impressions so far: We have been to Kyiv 3 times now, in 2004, 2006, and now. The city is changing rapidly. Today, there are many new, stylish, beautiful apartment buildings being built, many fewer old Ladas, and many, many more American and German made cars. We have seen quite a few Chevy Aveo's and lots of VW's. Seems the middle class is growing. Yesterday we flew into Donetsk, drove through Kramatorsk into Slavyansk, then back to Kramatorsk to spend the night. It is more "untouched". Hopefully the growing economy will soon reach beyond Kyiv.
We have been thinking much of our new friends, the Attwoods. If you are reading this, Sarah or Adrian, call us back. We tried to return a call, but it was from your hotel, not your cell.
We had a lovely dinner with the Attwoods on Tuesday evening at the restaurant in Shevchenko park. It is a great place to eat, authentic atmosphere and food (and Emily, no bunnies in cages this time!) Just outside the restaurant was a crepe stand. Also delicious!
Our apartment in Kyiv was wonderful. It was right on Shevchenko Blvd, a block from the park, and only up 2 flights of stairs. Air conditioning that ran cold, and a beautiful, elegant bathroom, We are in a hotel right now in Kramatorsk, but we will be moving somewhere else tonight.
The SDA was a very different experience than the NAC in 2004. We walked to the building, Max took us in and told them we were here, and right on time, the translator came downstairs to meet us. She was very young, (20-25 years old), and although she spoke English with a heavy accent, we had great confidence in her ability to translate. She took us upstairs, through one office to an inner office. Both of these offices were outfitted with new furniture (looked like Sauder made a major sale here!) and a nice love seat size couch for us to sit on. Both the translator and the psychologist had desks, but their chairs were brought around to the front side of the desks so we were in a more "friendly" arrangement. At first, they were business-like. Polite, but not especially friendly, just businesslike. We introduced ourselves, and they asked the general opening questions about why do we want to adopt, and why a child with Down syndrome. Then, how do we know Daniil, and have we ever met him. We had not, and explained how 2 other mothers who had adopted from his former orphanage had met him, he had made a particular impression on them, and through the internet, we got to talk with them about him. They had a couple of pictures, and we just wanted to add him to our family. They said that we had not included his current orphanage in our letter of request for him, so they could not know where he is now. We came prepared with that information (thanks Lynn and Megan!) and they left to find the referral. We sat for about 5 minutes, worrying that perhaps he was not properly registered for adoption afterall! But when they returned, their demeanor changed quite a bit. The psychologist smiled broadly, and held the file close to her. She spoke briefly of his diagnosis-we did know he has DS, and what all of that entails-right! She said we would get the complete medical report in the region, then, smiling, slowly showed us the photo! A good picture makes all of the difference in the world. I've not seen this picture before, and really have none of him as a baby. They offered to give us this picture, if we would return with one of ours for their file! I don't have any with me, but we promised to print one out, and bring it back.
Then, they said to come back Thursday, between 5-6 to pick up the referral. Jim asked very politely if we could possibly get it any earlier in the day, as we had train tickets booked and the train left at 6:30. She could not promise, but said she would ask them to process this faster, because of the nature of our request and the child we are adopting. We explained the educational and medical testing that we had scheduled for him at home. The translator gave us her cell phone number for Max to try and call her, and the psychologist took Max's number so she could call him to arrange all of this. By the time an hour and a half had past, Max had talked to both of them, and it seemed that they were trying to be very cooperative. We also asked for faster processing of the approval, which has a normal processing time of 5 working days. We will see if they are still so inclined to help speed things along. I hope they are. Total time, about 25 minutes.
We went out of the building looking for Max. They had sent him on a mission to make some copies of the dossier, so we grabbed a coke and listened in on an English speaking tour group's explanation of a statue. Max found us, turned in his copies, and we were on our way for the afternoon tasks—Max had to go back home and get his passport and copy of his power of attorney to pick up the referral that afternoon—he left his apartment unprepared for that turn of events-and we went back, got changed out of our SDA meeting clothes, into something cooler, and went to find a place to print a picture of Daniil/Alexander. And to pack!
Out and about, we found somewhere to print the photo, and left the task to them, while we went to the underground mall to grab a bite to eat. (Air conditioning)We elected to get local food, not Mcdonald's, and there was a little cafeteria line place where we could see the food, so we knew what we were getting. Pretty good lunch for average price-but it was airconditioned!
Max called us with options—fly in the morning, or train the following night. Flying is more expensive, but we gain a half of a day to get the paperwork going. We opt to fly, so we meet him after getting the picture, and walk to the airline office to purchase the tickets. We leave at 8 in the morning. Max has one of our suitcases that we need to complete the packing, but he has plans tonight if we don't need him, so he will bring it with him when he picks us up at 5:15 am.
We left for the airport right on time, and Jim was disappointed that our flight was on an Airbus, not a Soviet jet. Oh well. We were crammed for the one hour flight, but they did serve a nice breakfast in a Styrofoam box, so the hour went by quickly. We deplaned, rode the bus to the terminal, then waited outside for the luggage truck to bring the luggage in. Everyone swarmed the truck, picking their luggage, and a ticket checker waited by the door, processing everyone as they tried to get past, making sure that you took only your own luggage. Max's friend, Sasha was our driver for the day, and he was there, ready for us.
It was about an hour and a half drive, maybe a little more, to Slavyansk, and we went right to the orphanage. The director had been notified, for the past 24 hours, that we were arriving to meet Daniil, but when we got there, she was not there. Never said she had to be out, just wasn't there. We were ushered into the psychologists office, leaving Max and a clerical worker to begin drawing up the papers. This was at about 11:30 or so. The director arrived, but had "visitors" and could not see us. Then, she had a spot in her schedule for us, and we followed her to her office. Max had spoken on the phone with her a couple of times, and said she seemed hesitant about international adoptions in general, and totally unclear as to why anyone would want to have a child with Down syndrome in their family. "They" don't do well in a family, and the family does not do well with "them" is the attitude.
Max helped us explain that we did indeed know exactly what we were getting into, and we wanted another child with DS. She was very adamant that he was so low functioning (my term, I can't remember exactly how Max translated it, but I could tell he was also trying to be kind in his translation) She explained that this orphanage is for children who will never make it in the regular school,, but will always need special schools. And he is a year older than his groupmates, and he is still significantly behind them! According to her, he cannot play ball, play with blocks or trucks, or any of the other things the other children can do. We tried to convey that this does not matter to us. I don't know if she ever got it, or not.
She called for him to come in, but we did not get to interact with him. His head was down, but he raised his eyes to make contact with her. She was warm with him, helping him blow his nose, and asked him if he wanted a mama and papa to come for him."Da". Will you keep your nose clean? "Da" Will you keep your face clean? "Da". Do you like to play with the other children? "Da" Are they nice to you? "da" Do you share your toys with them? "Nyet!" Hey, at least he is honest! After the interrogation, she sent him back to his groupa, without introducing us, or allowing us to interact with him, then asked if we were still sure we wanted him! I was in tears, just wanting to go and scoop him up! He did look at us and smile, but when I asked her if she thought he knew what we were there for, she denied it. He had no idea, according to her.
Back to our room (psychologists office) for more waiting. Max continued to work on papers, updating us as he went, while we fought sleep. At 4, they allowed us to come and see him. Our visiting hours are 10-12, and 4-6. He recognized us IMMEDIATELY when he saw us from afar, and came running, hugging us with total abandon. No way he did not realize who we were in that office. They had been talking to him for some time, that his mama and papa would come and get him soon.
We played in the motor room with him, and it took him about 10 minutes to warm up to us. We played with a big truck, and a ball, and we got him to say "ball" if he wanted us to throw the ball to him. He catches on quickly. We played with the smaller than normal size hoola hoops, but mostly he just put them in a random pattern on the floor, and then picked them up to return them, one by one, until two were left, then started the procedure again. By 6, Max had returned, and we took Daniil outside to his group. We asked Max to tell him we would be back in the morning, but Daniil just kept saying "I don't want" over and over again, not wanting to let go. Heartwrenching.
Off to find lodging for the night, we decide to go to Kramatorsk because Max has papers to be produced at the notary there. There are so many official papers for these adoptions.
That is where I began this diatribe. I'll have Jim post it in a conspicuous spot on our blog, so those who do not want so much rambling info can skip it. But I know that when I am researching, I like all of the nitty gritty. Plus, it makes a great diary to remember how things went.
Mary
No comments:
Post a Comment