4/17/04 8:45 PM


Step right up, one and all, young and old, boys and girls of all ages--- see the incredible dancing bear, acrobat cats, death defying horsemanship, the “dog-a-round” featuring the “fearless feathered winged warriers” plus lots of girls with feathers coming out of their tushies--- No we’re not back in Vegas—It’s the Kyiv Circus—What a show! 60 minutes non stop, a 20 minute intermission, then another hour of fun--- this is the ADD Circus--- no act lasted for more than 4 or 5 minutes. I HATE circuses—this thing had me mesmerized. Max was able to get us some seats from “Guido” the scalper for 10 uah a person—about 2 bucks. We were in row 2—incredible seats in the 1500 seat “in the round” theatre.

Our day started early picking up the kids at 7:30 and to the waiting car at 7:45. Up till now, we were beginning to think that all those who came before with the horror stories of the Ukrainian roads were just a bunch of spoiled American sissies… We would now like to formally apologize for thinking that. The driver was a MADMAN. We were in a Lada “a Russian branded Fiat”—That should be enough to describe it--- The slogan is “not a lada money for not a lada car”.

He wove, he passed in no passing zones, He ran out of gas, he was more worried about his cassette player falling (It was solidly secured by a dish towel) than the fact that he made a 3rd lane down the middle of the 2 lane road (at 110 KPH with cars on both sides). We made it! It was not pretty, but we made it.

Max met us at and we were off to the notary. After adding another official document to our pile we were onto the subway and back to the Left Bank for shopping.

Hey Emily—we found Doenner Kabaps! Just as good as Germany, except they use Mayo and Catsup rather than the yummy yogurt stuff.

Max’s wife met us to head to the Circus from there--- After the circus, we FINALLY were able to convince Max that we’d be fine with the kids alone in Kyiv for the rest of the day. That way he could spend Larissa’s last day of vacation with her before she must head back to Sumy. We love his company, but it’s nice to have alone time with the kids.

We walked from the Circus to the main shopping street near Independence Square—a couple of miles. Tanya and Dima held up well. I ducked into the internet café to upload the last few days—Mary and the Kids head to TSUM (the old Soviet Department Store) to do the last of the shopping.

We all meet for McDonalds on Independence Square for dinner—Funny, we’d never go to MC in the states if we were in a different city—we always look for local food—but the kids really wanted to try McDonalds for the first time and there really is something cool about seeing Micky Dees in what, just 15 years ago, was the Soviet Union.

Got a cab and transferred to a minibus for the 90 minute ride back to Ivankiv—We are all beat- The kids are back at “the nest” and we are at Hotel Happiness—can’t wait till they get to stay with us for good


Jim and Mary
4/18/04 Sunday 2pm

Got up this morning too late for church, so we just went straight to The Nest”. The kids were watching a TV show, dubbed over in Ukrainian (or Russian, I couldn’t tell which) with the original language being English. I didn’t recognize the program but it had “Merlin” who was some kind of magician in it. (you can tell we watch a lot of TV—Huh)

We left when they were ready to go get Tanya some perfume. She had asked on the bus ride home yesterday if we could get her some perfume. How she communicated this was precious! I had handed her our notebook to doodle in, and she drew a picture of a perfume bottle, with spray coming out, a little smiley face as the face smells the spray, and the letters “OK” written on the bottle. Then pantomimed the entire process with a questioning look on her face, and said “tomorrow?” How can you turn that down?

So, today we were off to find the perfume, hoping it was not too expensive, as we find ourselves running low on UAHs and the banks open tomorrow. The market between the hotel and the orphanage was mostly closed, with only a few vendors out selling some very yummy looking fresh vegetables. No perfume. But Tanya kept on walking, saying something about a market and the hotel. We decided to trust her and follow. Back past the hotel, and down a side street, about ½ mile or so, was another market. We didn’t’ even know it existed. It looked much more permanent. It was only about 1/3 open, but we found some perfume she liked for under 2.00 USD. We continued to walk around this new market, and Tanya found another pair of jeans she liked, so we got those. Then back to the nest.

We watched a slide show on the computer of the photos of the circus. The vast majority of the actual circus photos, Tanya took. She did an excellent job. Dima was definitely showing signs of lack of sleep from yesterday-just overall kind of whiney. We joined the kids for lunch, was DELICIOUS!

They set a table for the 4 of us-Jim, Tanya, Dima, and me. Lunch was borscht, which as GREAT. Even the potatoes here taste better! Along with the borscht was bread, which is great with the borsch, and for dessert, something they called “a-LAH-dee” . It was a small, sweetened round bread like dessert, with the texture of foccocia bread, but looked like a solid donut. I don’t think they were fried, though. They were sweetened on the outside with a cinnamon sugar glaze, and then a cherry preserves bit on top. They were great. We could not finish ours, but did ask if we could bring them back here. Our wish was granted.

Tanya and Dima were both going to nap today, so we thought it best if we do the same.

Some thoughts to pass along to those who are yet to come:

Most useful items and items we wish we had:

Probably one of the most useful items we have with us has been our notebook and pen. We use it a lot—every day. It is great to have pen and paper handy for notes to write to myself, and when shopping, I simply pantomime writing while holding out the notebook, and the seller writes the price down. It’s much easier to understand that way. We use it in communications with Tanya, and if all else fails, hastily drawn pictures convey a message very well. We have a “Joe Boxer” wide spiral, hard front and back cover, and it is holding up well. They kids doodle in it, and practice writing their names. The pen clips on inside the spiral, and it is ready to go at all times. My purse is big enough to hold it, so I don’t have to carry it separately. Highly recommended.

A large purse has been a plus. Mine could be a little bigger, but it will do.

We brought “Wet ones” hand wipes and have found many uses for them. Water is off at our hotel frequently, so they come in handy here. Plus wiping up little hands after ice creams!

What I wish we had with us: a few computer games. We have a lap top with us (Thanks, again Emily, for letting us borrow yours!) and we can write these updates, file pictures, etc… but we didn’t’ think to bring a couple of CD ROM games. I’m sure the kids would have loved them, and given them something to do with us. We go outside and play Frisbee a little, walk to the markets, etc… but after a week and a half, with language just building, it is difficult. We do have some playing cards with us, and they have been handy-building card houses and playing concentration. The UNO cards were a hit. Dominoes would be fun, too. Any kind of very small, very portable game like that, that you enjoy, would be great to include, especially when adopting older children.

And for that matter, if I would have thought of it, I could have made a CD of the pictures we have of our house and family. We have all of these pictures on our main computer at home, and a CD is certainly a good way to carry those pictures.

Bring batteries from home if you have a digital camera—you need the photo batteries if you want more than a picture or 2 per set of 4. You’ll have no trouble finding them in Kyiv, but out here in the boonies it strictly Russian rip-offs that are okay for CD players but not anything heavy duty.

Stuff NOT to bring--- You can find nearly everything in every little dorf (except said batteries). Don’t worry about soap, shampoo, TP, toothpaste, deodorant, make-up, hairspray etc. It’s all here—mostly the same brands as in the US and at about 1/5 the price as back home. Bring what you will need the first few days, then get to the market and buy what you need for your stay in Ukraine. Finish it up and don’t bring it home---(wouldn’t you rather take up that space with a cool CCCP hockey jersey instead?)

Will close until later-I want to get that nap in!


4/18/04 6pm
That was a nice rest—up and back to the orphanage at 4. Dima is still sleeping—Tanya looks like she would like to still be sleeping--- Kyiv wore them (and us) out.

We spent time with Tanya and her friend Tanya in their room. Found out that the “other Tanya” is also coming to the States as a part of a homestay program in June. Hope it’s somewhere out west so the girls can get together. We saw a card of the family with whom she will be staying. (Daniel and Rose if you are reading this let us know how to send you photos—Tanya is excited about coming. She is a great kid—If we had room for one more, we’d bring her home with us)

Talked about lots of stuff—Tanya’s English skills are amazing 10 days in. (I suspect that she knew a lot more from class at school, but was shy about trying) There are very few things that we cannot (between her skills, the dictionary and the notebook) figure out. Tanya practiced writing in English. We looked over her school books—In the US she would be late in Algebra 1 or in the beginning of second year (she’s in 8th grade). High School Physics, Geography, Biology and Chemistry. Much like the old Soviet system the focus is on the “precise” sciences rather than on the arts. She could probably smoke most American high school seniors on math and science standardized tests (at least in Las Vegas—“the land of the low expectations”). Bad news for the good ole USA.

We are all very tired—especially Dima, who at 5:15, has not yet gotten up from his nap. Mary and I decide to head back to the hotel. Tanya has an early day at school. I have to wash my pants by hand in the sink---since no one else will. (Feel sorry for me here—or not).

Going to the “diner of death” tonight—I’ll not be having the chicken.

Hopefully court is tomorrow afternoon—Keep you posted

Jim and Mary



4/19/04 6pm

A whole lotta nothing today—The kids had long days at school—we had to stay close to the hotel in case we could get a court date for today.

We did have a little time to get to the Rynok for some Moloko and Coke and back to the hotel—Got word from Max at about 11:30 that we needed some extra papers because Tanya is 14 (police check for passport, bla bla bla..) He was promised the letter from the NAC by close of the day today. Max raced up to Ivankiv to get all the other papers done and to check the Judge’s schedule for tomorrow. Look like we’ll be in tomorrow morning (as long as the Inspector does not have to teach a class—if she does it could be afternoon and another exciting night here in Ivankiv).

We met Tanya from school and went shopping for a backpack for Dima. We also picked up a nice leather briefcase to give to Max—The prices here are really wonderful—

We wanted to walk with Tanya and the caregivers to pick up the little kids from Kindergarten. On the way we ran into Tanya’s aunt (we knew of her – she visits very rarely and she is unable to adopt them). She brought a going away gift for Tanya and Dima- We wanted to give them some time together, so it’s back to the hotel for an early night for us. We are getting VERY anxious to get home. We really miss all the kids and grandma and want to get our family together and get on with life.

Keep us in your prayers for a quick and painless hearing tomorrow.. Again, hopefully in the early morning so we can get the papers, birth certificates and get to Kyiv by tomorrow afternoon!


Till next time,


Jim and Mary



4/20/04 3:30pm

Mary here—
Warning---skip this entry if you do not want to read a whiny diatribe!

I think I’ve hit my psychological limit today. Don’t know what will happen now, but I’m definitely at my limit!

I woke this morning to a “sound”. Of course, I looked. Bad idea! I saw it---a mouse!
Jim very, very quickly awoke, and was immediately pressed into service. I don’t “do mice”! A bug, while not my favorite, I can handle. I live in the desert, and have had 2 scorpions (O.K, they were in the garage, but the garage is attached, so they were “in the house”) that in one way or another, I handled. (Went and got a neighbor the first time, the 2nd time, we doused him with vodka, which they absorb through their skin, rendering them unable to attack, and therefore easy to remove).

I just cannot handle mice. Ask my kids. I not-so-affectionately refer to all of those little things as “rodent in a cage”-or they SHOULD be in a cage if they are in the house, and preferably NOT in MY house.

Let me say it again, I just don’t do mice!

I looked, he looked back at me, I screeched and he ran. I don’t for a second believe the adage that “he was more scared than me”. Impossible.

OK, fine, we have a mouse, but today should be court-when Maxim gets those papers early this morning from the NAC.

After thoroughly mouse checking all items of clothing, twice, we dressed and took a walk to the market. Jim fried his electric shaver, using only the converter, not the transformer, so we had to get a razor for him, and I saw a leather purse I liked and wanted to check it out again. Purchases made, we headed back, wishing we could find a “cat store” at the market. I’d bring a cat back here with me to protect me.

And we waited. And waited. Maxim called around 12:30-he still does not have the papers signed by the NAC director. Seems that since there were mistakes on a couple of the papers, she wants to go over it with a fine tooth comb, which she is supposed to do and sign by 5 tonight. I’ve heard this one before. Since last Thursday, I believe, we keep hearing that either the next morning, or noon, or by 5 that day, the signatures will be obtained and we will be ready for court. (WAH, WAH, WAH) Jim reminds me it has not even been 2 weeks yet, and we are doing ok time wise, but I guess I’m just in a whiney American mood today, and in case there is any doubt, a mouse being in my room at any time, is totally unacceptable to me.

Back to “Diner of Death” for lunch-I’m even tired of what they have there---where they were all laughing at me. After talking to Maxim on the phone, I decided to let the hotel management know that we had a mouse in our room. I didn’t have our translation book, not that it has THAT complaint in the “hotel” section (I looked). To get the idea across, I drew a picture of a mouse. An artist, I’m not, but they got the message. And, apparently, they found it amusing. And shared this amusement with the restaurant staff. They were all laughing when we arrived, and I caught the word for mouse in their conversation. So, not only am I traumatized by having said mouse in my room, looking at me, but I am now the butt of the entire hotel staff’s jokes. WAH, WAH, WAH (I told you I was going to be whiney)

No court today. But, on the upside, Maxim does “almost” have the background check on Tanya done, which is needed to secure her passport, since she is 14 years old. When he told us about this requirement, he said he was checking on getting it and most places took 10 days to get this document! AAHHH, 10 more days!??! But he found one place that can secure it in 1 day. Sounds good to me. At this point, he is picking that document up at 4:30 this afternoon, then going to the NAC to hopefully pick up the signed packet so we can schedule a court date. He told us to take the kids to get passport and visa photos taken this afternoon. He spoke with the director of the orphanage, who was supposed to assign one of the workers to accompany us to wherever the photo place is, but when we got to the orphanage, the director was gone, and no one there knew anything about it. They said to wait until tomorrow when Maxim is here. Fine.

We came back to the hotel to transfer photos from the digital camera to the laptop, while Tanya took a nap. We left the camera with her yesterday, thinking she would like some pictures of her aunt who came to visit her yesterday. After downloading the pictures, we noted that the only picture of the aunt was the one we took. All of the rest of the pictures were of friends.

Just for the record, I’m ready to go home. Or to Kyiv. If there are other delays past tomorrow, I think we will tell Maxim that we want to base out of Kyiv and we will bus here to Ivankiv every afternoon to see the kids. We cannot see them all day, they are in school. We’ve done all there is to do—seen everything there is to see -- in Ivankiv, including chasing a mouse, and if we have to sit and wait, it may as well be in Kyiv, where there is more than one restaurant.


Jim here—I am not having a whiney day. The weather is wonderful—trees are budding, there is a nice warm breeze, spring has come to the motherland, and I don’t have food poisoning. And I don’t like mice either—but he was really cute.

The hardest part right now is communicating with the kids (especially Tanya). We have gone through all the phrase books for things to discuss—but with long days at school and the strain of wanting to get out of here (even more on their part than ours) It is difficult. Some of the other kids treat Tanya differently now that they know she is leaving and that seems hard on her.. The sooner we can get them out of there the better. Best case scenario—Court Tomorrow (wed) morning. Pick up court papers by early afternoon. Birth certificates tomorrow late afternoon. Going away party at the orphanage after that, then to Kyiv Wednesday night. Doctor and passports Thursday morning, US Embassy Thursday afternoon (we have an appointment for mid afternoon). Drop by the NAC late Thursday afternoon and get a late flight to either Prague or Paris to connect home Friday morning—hey ya gotta have faith J



Jim

Mary here—Ok, yes, the weather is BEAUTIFUL. Jim is right. I need to snap out of this, and focus on the positives.

We have only seen Tanya for a few minutes this afternoon, but even that much made me feel much better. I feel so bad for her that it is taking so long. We explain as best we can what is delaying (more papers to be signed, more stamps to be procured) but to look at her every day and say “no “sude” (court) today, maybe tomorrow”, well, it just breaks our hearts.

I like Jim’s timeline, and I think I’m going to focus on it for a while. I’m so glad I have him here-for those of you who did this solo-I don’t know how you did it. Jim’s support is the only thing getting me through today (And seeing Tanya, and looking forward to seeing Dima this afternoon)

Mary


8:35pm

We had a good visit with Tanya and Dima today. Got back to the orphanage just before 5. Sat with Tanya and talked—Dima got back from kindergarten about 5:10. Played with a slinky and Mary tried to get sympathy from Tanya about the mouse—didn’t work. About 6:15, it was time for them to get dinner. We headed back to the “Hotel Happiness”—wanted to try to stop at the “fast food Kiosk” and get something for dinner. They had “chicken on a spit”--- not ready for that yet. Looking for some sort of sausage, but nothing looks like the words we know for sausage or hot dog on our menu decoder… I guess it’s back to the “Pectopah of Pain” aka Diner of Death for dinner (we have just been eating one meal a day, but we both have the “hungries” today).

Dinner was the now famous “fried meat” (Pork sautéed in onions) with some mashed potatoes—have we mentioned that potatoes actually taste like something here?? Mary had a beer—My tummy is still not ready for alcohol—Shame, because they have great local beer here.

While we were at dinner, Max called the hotel—we missed it. Spent the last half hour trying to get through to him. The pay phone at the hotel is on the fritz. We went to a couple of shops and found a phone, but all of our phone cards were out of minutes. Argh. The wonderful lady at the front desk offered to call her home and have her daughter call Max and have him call the hotel (the hotel reception phone can only call in Ivankiv). The little girl was having trouble getting through, so the lady ran home to call him. I guess he got all the needed papers because he will be here at the hotel tomorrow morning at 8---YAY!!! My timeline is intact (so far).


A Chicken Story (no, it has nothing to do with Mary and the mouse).

Chickens are high culture in Ukraine. Chicken humor is rampant. At the Circus the funniest acts (to us and the natives) involved the gratuitous use of chickens.. Picture LARGE St Bernards. 2 on a carousel, 2 on their hind legs pushing the carousel—pretty funny stuff.. Add to that a couple of chickens on top of the carousel and the audience goes wild. Don’t know why it’s funny but it is. There were several other appearances of the feathered fowl when the room needed a lift.

There are 2 ways to go to the orphanage from the hotel. “Live Chickens” or “Dead Chickens”… “Dead Chickens” is through the marketplace where can you buy all imaginable chicken parts in various stages of freshness (or spoilage depending on your perspective). The other way we pass down a residential street where every home is complete with a Lada in the driveway (many up on stumps— rather than blocks back home) and chickens in the yard. The “watch roosters” announce your coming and going and the Babushkas are often in the yard tending to the garden and chatting with the chickens—not just making chicken noises, but in deep conversation that drifts from “Ukrainian” to “Chicken” and back. Chickens are let in and out of the yard--- usually they stay close--- if one gets locked out you will see them pecking at the gate to get back in. Neither dogs nor cats mess with the chickens, because Chickens are high culture in Ukraine.


While we’re at it, some phone tips (at least these will work if you are in the sticks)---

1) Buy a phone card—they are cheap—you can get them around town—The post office or any of the Ace and Base stores. Get a lot of minutes because if you call out of the city (and you will be) the minutes go FAST. (our 120 minute card—gives us about 10 minutes to Max’s cell phone and it costs just over a dollar)
2) Dialing out of the city? You must first dial 8--- wait a moment for the next tone and continue with 0 then the city code, then the number—dial S-L-O-W-L-Y.. they are still on pulse dialing and the phones get confused easily. After you have dialed all the digits, you will (hopefully) get a ring (rings here are like western Europe—two long beeps, pause, 2 long beeps). After your party answers, press 1. That completes the call and the seconds start ticking off your card. Be patient—it takes 30-45 seconds after you have dialed all the digits to get through.
3) Look for phones in post offices, grocery stores and all the usual places (Train stations, airports…)
4) Many payphones are broken—as the husband of our Hotel manager says in broken German—“Es ist Ukrainia—nicht arbeiten”.. As if to say “hey it’s Ukraine- what do you expect?”


Language thoughts—

Learn to read Cyrillic. I can’t, Mary can and it has been VERY helpful. Many everyday words are close enough to English to figure our—But if you don’t know Cyrillic you’d never know that Pectopah is Restoran--- close enough to get it!

Learn the “polite words” Please, Thank you, I don’t understand….. and be able to count to at least 3 (helpful when ordering pastries –or whatever) in Russian or Ukrainian--- seems like everyone speaks either and they are used interchangeably where we are.


A LOT of people over 40 speak German as a second language—We have probably been able to communicate more complex concepts with my German, than with Mry’s Russian or anyone in Ivankiv’s English (except Max). The Orphanage Director, one of the caretakers, the Hotel Manager, Tanya’s track coach all speak pretty good German. If you know it—your in luck!